


Closet vs. House

by Bakurakrazie



Category: House M.D.
Genre: Coming Out, Community: lgbtfest, Community: queer_fest, Gen, Other, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Transgender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-24
Updated: 2011-11-24
Packaged: 2017-10-26 12:32:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/283157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bakurakrazie/pseuds/Bakurakrazie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wilson isn't sure what she expected to happen when she comes out to House as transgendered, but it wasn't this. I am the worst at titles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Closet vs. House

**Author's Note:**

> Written in response to a prompt (see summary) for the queer fest thing on LJ. I never officially claimed it, due to lateness, but I've had this written for a couple of months. It was pretty odd writing this, because I honestly don't see Wilson as transgendered at all, so I had to make sure I didn't ever accidentally write 'he' instead of 'she'. I only wrote this, because after I had skimmed past the prompt the previous day, I had a dream about writing it, and got some of the ideas for the dialogue.
> 
> It was frustrating, because I can perfectly picture their movements and the choreography of the scene, but I don't know that I expressed it well. Same thing with their voices and emphasis and such. But it's my first time writing anything House-related, so I hope it's enjoyable nonetheless!

"House, we need to talk." Wilson was standing in the doorway of their kitchen.

"You sound serious. Are you breaking up with me?" He looked up from behind his newspaper, giving a pout.

"I _am_ serious. This is- difficult for me to talk about."

"Okay." he folded the paper, putting it aside, and then put his elbows on his knees, leaning his head on his hands in mock eagerness. "I'm all ears." Wilson sighed.

"I- I'm sort of- I _am_ , that is, I'm a woman." A pause as she saw House actually raise his head and sit up straight. "Well, not biologically, but I've been feeling that for a while, a _long_ while, but I never really told anyone before, and now I'm . . . telling you."

" _Yippee!_ "

"Yippee? That's your response to me _out_ ing myself as a _wo_ man?"

" _Yippee!_ As in, _yippee ki yo ki yay!_ You know, like a cowboy." He tilted his head to one side. "Probably not the best line; that was a movie about the gays, not the trannies."

"Should I even _bother_ asking why?"

House grabbed his cane off of the counter and leaned on it to rise up from the chair he was sitting in.

"I am saying _yippee!_ because you finally came out about it, instead of pussyfooting around it like a woman." He paused. "Huh. I guess that insult doesn't really work anymore, does it?" He began walking out of the room.

Wilson stammered for five seconds before she composed herself enough to start following House around.

"What are you saying, you _knew_? There's no way, how could you tell?"

"Your penis leans to the right a little bit. That's just not normal." He turned a corner, Wilson followed. After seeing her expression, he rolled his eyes, "Because I know you."

"So that's just it? You just- accept all of this? You don't have any _qualms_ about anything?" Her arms were outstretched at her side, trying to grasp at a concept like the floor was disappearing under her feet.

House took a few steps into his room, and then turned, suddenly and angrily, his eyes narrowed, and he began to yell.

"You want to know what I really think?! I think it's dis _gus_ ting! You should be ashamed, because you're worthless! I don't want to have anything to do with you, and I never want to see or speak to you ever again!"

As soon as House began to yell, Wilson nearly physically deflated. Is this what was going to happen to anyone else she came out to? She started to speak, but as soon as House saw her expression, his own, of rage, dropped, and he appeared to consider something as he tilted his head and looked up, and continued in a much more normal tone.

"On second thought, scratch that. If I told you that, I wouldn't be able to mooch off of you anymore. Or, more importantly, make fun of you." He raised a cup of coffee that he had in his room in a mock toast, before taking a sip. Wilson's mind was reeling. "Oh, but here's an actual problem. Your name. You're not just going to make it Jamie, are you? That's _so_ uncreative."

"I- hadn't really thought about it," she answered honestly. "I haven't even thought about how much I'm going to transition."

"Well, stay away from Jamie. Unless you're transitioning to a Hispanic person. Then you could get away with _hhhhhhhhhhh_ aime." He overemphasized the sound of the j, possibly to note the difference, or possibly because he felt like it.

"Well I'm glad you have my best interests in mind." She was starting to snap out of the stupor, and get right back to old habits; sarcasm.

"Oh, but of course. Nearly half the whores I've slept with have been named Jamie. You wouldn't think it would be _that_ common, but there you are." He put down his coffee mug. "And speaking of sex," he began.

"Oh god."

"The next time you have any, can I watch?"

"No, House. No. Not now, not ever." He was pouting now.

"Oh come on! I've always wanted to watch two lesbians going at it. Why would you spoil my dream? Barring you I'll have to go and call Jamie and Jamie, and they're expensive."

She shook her head and rolled her eyes before starting to walk out of his room. She had work soon. It didn't stop House from shouting after her in the hallway.

"Hey, have I made a caterpillar-butterfly joke on you yet, or is that too obvious? Don't worry! I'll think of something!"

Wilson isn't sure what she expected to happen when she comes out to House as transgendered, but it wasn't this.

**Author's Note:**

> Also, fun fact, most penises do NOT, in fact, lean to the right. They're either left-leaning or they have an upward curve.


End file.
